![]() Does that constellation of traits add up to codependency? Codependents often anchor their self-worth to other people’s perception of them. I am a caretaker, and a wuss around conflict. ![]() I do have a record of losing myself in relationships. “I think you often displace that with caring about other people,” Luke said. Lee Luke pointed out that I’m a caretaker, perhaps as a way of shunting attention away from my own needs and desires. “You sometimes will go against yourself, in order to maintain a level of pleasantness,” Sigelman said. “And prioritize each other in a way that I guess sometimes feels like shutting off the rest of the world.”Īnother friend, El Sigelman, told me I’m conflict-avoidant, and a people-pleaser. “You and the other person get in very, very deeply,” Guang said. One friend, August Guang, told me that I jump into relationships too quickly. I started by asking friends why they think of me as codependent. ![]() So this Valentine’s Day, I decided to take a closer look. But I never had a super firm grasp on what that meant, where it came from, and what I could do about it. Over the years, friends, partners, and therapists have told me that I struggle with codependency. When people are in unhealthy or unbalanced relationships, we often use a term to describe them: codependent.
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